World Class Villains

Hmm, it has been a very long time since I updated this list about what I’ve finished, what I’ve got and what I want.

Dispatched

• 

  LA Noire: Can we get a game about Jack Kelso instead? He’s a lot more likeable than Cole.

  LA Noire (X360): An interesting, if very flawed title. It was a point-and-click video game of sorts, but one that really provided no clues (ironically) about what you needed to solve the puzzle. Plus some of the “correct” dialogue options were just counter-intuitive.

• Dead Space 2 (plus Severed) (X360):  Although more arcade-y than Dead Space, there were a number of improvements, notably how Isaac Clarke (The Unluckiest Man In The Galaxy) moves. It does drag a bit towards the end though. In that vein, the Severed DLC has a stronger narrative because it is shorter.
• Game Dev Story (iOS): I “finished” it by hitting the time limit, then started again. I go back to it occasionally, but I’m pretty much done with it. It is fun and provides a view (of sorts) about being a game developer.
• Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP (iOS): Thanks S: S&S for introducing me to a game mechanic I loathe: real time-dependent gameplay ‘windows’ that are the only time to perform certain tasks. Occasionally I check back to see if it is Dark Moon time, but it isn’t and I just don’t care anymore. It’s still twee in my opinion.
• The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (X360): Played it and really liked it. The combat had some problems, and I did have an issue with some of the subtext, but overall a great action RPG with a really strong narrative. Too few RPGs let you have a drink with the main villain and then decide if you want to fight or not.
• 

  Shadows of the Damned: I’m not even kidding.

  Shadows of the Damned (X360): Never has a game been so much about one man’s penis.

• Spelunky (X360): I’d love to say that by ‘dispatched’ that I meant ‘completed’, but that’s not true. I’ve just given up having reached the final level just once after a few hundred deaths. I can breeze through 1-1 to 1-4, not have too much problems in the 2-X’s but when it comes to the third block if I don’t have a jetpack or cloak, I’m 90% sure of dying due to disappearing platforms. Plus I find Spelunky to be unfair in that one hit can cascade your character into an unstoppable death spiral. And I don’t mean the insta-kill spikes, I mean “the bat hits you which knocks you off your narrow ledge that then puts you in the path of a native’s boomerang that fires you into the block spikes” situation.
• Max Payne 3 (X360): Finished this on hardcore, but couldn’t be bothered to finish off the grinds. There’s a huge narrative disconnect between Payne’s mopey, “I’ve got nothing but bad luck” narration and the game play that sees him kill a few thousand people by the end of the game. You know who is having a worse day than you, Max? The hundred people you just shot in the face.
• Hotline: Miami (PC): I enjoyed this as a game, but find interpretations about how it forces players to confront the violent nature of video games to be overblown. It really doesn’t.
• Happy Wars (X360): This was fun enough for a F2P title – I got all the achievements and probably won’t be back though.
• Just Dance 4(X360): As a straight white man who loves to dance, this allows me to keep my secret shame hidden behind lounge room curtains.

Unwrapped

• Mass Effect 3
• Vanquish
• Deus Ex 3
• Hitman: Absolution
• Dead Rising 2: Off the Record
• Mirror’s Edge

Unplayed

• Dark Souls
• Gears of War 3 (for the sake of completeness, really)
• Catherine
• From Dust
• Portal 2
• Psychonauts (because I’ve never played it but am intrigued)
• Alice: Madness Returns
• To The Moon
• The Binding of Isaac
• Hydrophobia
• XCOM: Enemy Unknown
• Dishonoured
• BioShock: Infinite
• SpecOps: The Line
• Sleeping Dogs
• Mark of the Ninja
• The Walking Dead
• Far Cry 3
• Assassin’s Creed 3 (but the bugs, the bugs…)
• Dead Space 3